“Beautifully different”

During my teens there would be many labels to associate me with: stupid, antisocial, troublemaker, weird, among others. Labels seemed to be used to put me into boxes so, teachers, and the world could try to understand me.

As years went by the bullying didn’t stop. Everyone knew me by a thousand different names, except the one my mother had given me. I didn’t mind, actually. I didn’t want them to taint my name with their evil voices.

In high school, I tried hard to fit in with the “cool” group just so they would stop thinking I was different or abnormal. I learned to laugh and keep my mouth shut even when I saw any injustice being done. I once screamed and burst into tears when I saw one of my “friends” kill a bee out of fun. I couldn’t understand how someone could take away the life of such an innocent being intentionally. After being bullied for my reaction, they started calling me “crazy” and so… what did I do? I started killing bees.

I despised myself. I had turned into this person I didn´t like just for the purpose of “fitting in.” But at the same time I hated what I was, I hated being oversensitive, stupid, a daydreamer, rebellious, and sad. Then, a boy came my way. His name was Harsh. We had alot of similarities and so we became good friends. Once, while we were talking, he told me that he was gay and asked me not to disclose it.

We were teenagers, and our self-esteem was determined by the acceptance of society.

He knew how I felt for being different and not being able to fit in. I had a different mindset and he had a different sexual orientation. It was in our differences where we found a unity that developed into a beautiful friendship. A few years later he found the courage to “come out.” His parents supported him. He lost many friends but made new ones and he could be entirely himself around them.

There was no more pretending. He became comfortable within his own skin, and that to him was happiness.

I came to understand that the criticism came, not because we were wrong but because we were different to them. It was their limited mindset that created in them an inability to accept other people’s differences. Our problem came from the fact that we had given them the power of controlling our self-esteem instead of finding that acceptance and love within ourselves.

As more years passed, I came to forgive and love myself because I was never ugly, stupid or antisocial, as they saw me. I felt like that because I was looking at myself through their eyes instead of my own. Today when I met Harsh, I came to know that he has adopted a beautiful baby girl. When I asked him, “What would you like her to be when she grows up? He replied, ” beautifully different”.

NOTE: This is a fiction story written by me.

Stop tormenting yourself.

Do you ever feel like you are not who you should be?
That perfect girl or guy, that perfect friend, that perfect daughter or son, that you want to be so genuinely.

No matter what you do, you just can’t change yourself. 

But, did you ever tried to ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE instead of changing it?

Aslan from the great Narnia once said, “You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.”

You are the one stopping you from becoming who you want to.

So, STOP right there. Stop comparing yourself from others and criticising yourself for who you are. 

START accepting your mistakes, flaws and all your imperfections. 

Because if you want to become like someone, you first have to be you.

♡Nobody is perfect and that is                         perfection.

♡Nobody is the prettiest and that’s what     makes us pretty.

♡Nobody is extraordinary and that is             where the magic lies.

♡Nobody is you and that is your biggest       superpower. 

Lies…

 

What are best friends?
Are they always there for you?
Do they keep secrets?
Do they hide from you?

Do they pretend they care?
Do they stab you in the back?
Do they actually care?
Or do they just use you?

I don’t know what a best friend is
Because I thought I had one
But I guess I was a fool.

I defended you in school
When everyone else made fun
I hung out with you
Even if it meant not being cool.

So tell me,
Is this what “best friends” do?
Because if it is
I would rather not have one.

I thought I could trust you
when I told you what I felt.
My secrets I left in your hand .
If I went to sleep late last night, you knew.

You always knew my worries.

And talking to you would make them fly away,

But who knew you had another side

Which always comforted me with lies.

I could not lie to you, for you were my best friend,
until I met your other side.
Don’t deny anything to me ’cause all you say is a lie.
You told me I was beautiful, and for the first time I believed it,
but I was wrong, or maybe I can trust you.

I am confused, what should I do?
Should I trust you or not?

You tell me it’s okay,
that my secrets are safe with you,
but what if you say something or maybe your other side does.

I don’t want to meet it, but I think I already have.
When you promised me your friendship
and that it will always last, but you lied .

And after every lie,
it just makes me want to forget,
what we’ve been through,
all that you’ve promised me,
everything you’ve told me.
Well, goodbye to you and your so-called other side.

And if you want to know what i want,

Please know that:

You could hurt me with a truth,

I would take it.

But please don’t ever comfort me with a lie.

For it, will be the last talk between us.

 

 

3 things you need to do ASAP!

BE BRAVE.

Be brave in all your decisions. Be brave with what you dream but none else doses and then strive to achieve it. You dream of them because only you can achieve them.

LOVE YOURSELF.

Love yourself because nobody else is ever gonna do that for you. The day you learn to love yourself , you’ll be the happiest forever. So go love yourself.

BE YOU.

Everybody else is just their to support you, not to be you. Only you can do that. And that is your biggest strength. So be a little crazy, weird, unpredictable, extra, over sensitive, unusual, but be YOU.